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Davinci and Superman…

Tuesday night, in the smoldering heat, I decided I needed out of my apartment for a few hours. Like, 6 hours. Long enough that it would cool off outside so I could go home and unstuff the apartment. Well, it turned out to be a night of paradoxes, as I saw one movie I loved, and another which I hated.

First off, at 6:30 I saw “The DaVinci Code”. I had a free pass to it when I purchased “The Mask of Zorro”, and I figured, “What the heck, it’s free, the book, aside from it’s glaring factual errors, was decently written, and I’m a small Tom Hanks fan, as well as an Ian McClellan fan. How bad can it be?”

It seems I underestimated Ron Howard.

The opening was fairly well done. It stuck quite well to the opening from the book. But the mystery began to crumble almost immediately, when they replaced Langdon being awakened by the French police at his hotel with him being interrupted at a book signing. For some reason, that one little change really bothered me, for no obvious reason. But it only got better from there.

Hank’s Langdon, I will admit, was decently played. I thought he did wonderfully, even if his character tended to be a little wordy. But from there, things got even worse when Leigh Teabing showed up on the scene, played by McClellan.

Now, please understand, as a thespian, I enjoy Sir Ian quite well. He’s the only man for the part of Magneto, he’ll always be Gandalf to me, and even if I don’t agree with his choice in lifestyles, the man is an incredible actor.

That being said, every time Teabing opened his mouth after the initial introduction at the intercom (probably the funniest scene in the movie), I started falling asleep, or wondering “Does this man EVER shut up?” Leigh Teabing, as intriguing as the character was in the books, was a snore-fest in this movie. The only really great acting I saw out of McClellan in this film was the scene where they’re hauling him away and he’s an enraged madman, frothing at the mouth over the secret of the grail.

They also managed to take out a lot of the key plot twists (for instance, when they searched Teabing’s estate and found the recording equipment). And they even changed around some things (In the books, Sophie finds her grandmother AND brother at Rosalin, where in the movie, it was only her grandmother, and a whole lot of Priory of Sion (which makes you wonder, where were these guardians all of this time during the story that they all just showed up at the end?). Cosmetically, the scenery in the movie was incredible, but the movie itself, I think, was a poorly directed crap-fest from Ron Howard.

That being said, I loved my second movie. The 10:00 premier of Superman Returns.

I hadn’t been following the production very closely, but I knew it was coming, and I knew Bryan Singer (of X-Men 1 & 2 fame) was at the helm, so I figured on eventually seeing it. As it started an hour after DaVinci ended, I figured “what the heck, go for it.”

Well, before the movie even started, my adrenaline was pumping because they were playing the trailer for Spider Man 3, which I’d seen earlier in the day online, but it’s so much more incredible on the big screen. Then, the movie finally started.

First of all, the man playing the Man of Steel, Brandon Routh, looks so much like Christopher Reeves, it’s eerie. It’s hard to believe they’re not related when you see Routh on screen, both in appearance and facial expressions, he makes you think he could be Reeves reborn.

Secondly, Kevin Spacey did a fantastic job as Lex Luthor. The man played the part to perfection, his cold, cunning, and slightly insane demeanor really did it for me (“Come on, let me hear you say it. One more time.” “You’re insane.” “No, not that, the other one.” “Superman will never…” “WRONG!!!”).

There’s not a huge amount of action right out the gates, but when it hits, it hits big. Like a meteor rock hitting the Kent’s field. Or like a Boeing 777 with no wings crashing into the ground, if Superman couldn’t save it. The classic Superman feel is there, when you first hear John William’s epic theme, you know that it’s going to be good. I walked away from that movie just moved on so many levels, because it was everything I loved about comic books as a kid. There’s action, there’s adventure, there’s heroes, there’s villains, and there’s even those plot twists you didn’t see coming. Overall, I applaud Bryan Singer’s rendition of the return of Superman, and I hope that he goes on to do more of them. If you haven’t seen it, see it. And a huge amount of respect for Brandon Routh, the virtual unknown coming to take on the cape that most of us wanted to wear at some point in our childhood, and making it feel like the good old days all over again. Thanks to both of them for bringing back fond memories of my childhood.

  

Quick post before bed.

I will go into much more detail tomorrow, but know these three facts:

1) You NEED to go see Superman Returns. The movie was freaking awesome.

2) If you go see Superman returns, you NEED to see the Spider Man 3 trailer.

3) If your theatre doesn’t play the Spider Man 3 trailer, you NEED to smack the projector boy until he plays it or the cops haul you off of him, whichever comes first.

  

Make the crazy desperate people go away!

Okay, so I signed up for one of the offers to “get my free iPod” (See below post), and was looking for the one that was going to cost me the least amount of money without having to sign up for a credit card online. I wound up doing something for “online auctions” for a 1.00 trial membership, but the first one I tried was a “free trial” to a dating website.

Now, understand that I am completely happily in a relationship and really had no intention of using said website, I just wanted to trial offer credit so I could get my iPod. I filled out minimal information, didn’t even upload a photo to it, and got to the end where I recieved my “free” trial… Where it asks for a credit card number. I looked at it, glared a moment, then closed out of the offer, going back and finding the blasted online auction bit and signing up, then cancelling it promptly thereafter (the great part, I was a member for a whopping 10 minutes and cancelled, yet I still got my credit for it).

Well, my gmail account, at which I’d yet to recieve ANY spam mail, was suddenly filling up rather rapidly, and I couldn’t figure out why. I opened it up, and low and behold, I found about fifty e-mails (in three days) that had titles such as follows:

“xoxoSweetHeart85xoxo has sent you a wink!”
“SexyBlondeBabe1982 wants to chat with you!”
“SpicyLatina1234 is flirting with you!”

It seems, despite the fact that I filled out minimal information, didn’t put up a photograph, filled out NO biographical information whatsoever, and didn’t “complete” my offer, I still got my profile posted on this website. And, in spite of the fact that I could look like a hideous troll with no personality, I was totally and completely unknown to them, and I hadn’t put down what I was “looking” for, every woman on the website apparently thought I would make great future husband material.

I went back to the website today and cancelled my membership.

It took me going through five (5) websites saying “Are you sure you want to cancel your membership?” to do so, but I got off the bloody website.

Now maybe the crazy desperate people will go away…

  

Why Clay Aiken and the World Cup team of Iraq think I need a free iPod…

Okay, so usually I’m skeptical about these things. Usually, I wouldn’t give it a second look. But I’m in dire want of an iPod and am too poor to afford it, so I’m willing to try anything.

Yes, I realize, I’m a sellout. Yes, I realize I’m suddenly an advertising whore for some company that seems to be a scam. But, I REALLY want an iPod. REALLY badly.

Click here to complete and offer and help me get my free iPod (if such a thing exists). I don’t know that I even have five readers for my blog, much less five readers who might complete an offer to help me get a free iPod, but I figure it’s worth a shot (and seeing how I’m listed on Technorati, I can always hope that a bunch of people search for this term).

Now, why should YOU, dear reader, click my referral link over anyone else’s? I’ll tell you why.

1) Because I really need to listen to Clay Aiken’s Christmas album on an iPod.

2) If I ever go to the world cup, it’s a WHOLE lot easier than trying to take my CD collection with me.

3) I might start video podcasting on my blog to let everyone see how big of a n00btard I am.

4) I don’t have a clue who Ron Suskind is or what the one precent doctrine is.

5) Winfs is now going to be integrated into SQL stuff (Whatever that means).

6) I’m thinking about starting my own Linux server.

7) Respect must be paid to anyone clever enough to try putting a list of reasons why you should help him with Technorati’s top searches.

8) Digg dug was one of my favorite games as a kid.

9) The World Cup team of Iraq would want you to.*nods sagely*

10) Microsoft is no longer headed by Bill Gates.

There you have it! 10 reasons why, you, dear reader, should support me in my venture to get a free iPod.

(No, it probably won’t work. This can only end in tears. But I tried. =)

  

Idiot, gosh…

Well, today I felt like a moron. Complete, bloody idiot. Why? Well, I’ll tell you.

This morning, I took a shower, and my shower drain was running slow. I finished showering, got out, got dressed, ate breakfast, and when I came back into the bathroom to brush my teeth (30 minutes later), the water hadn’t moved. Now recently, I’ve had trouble with my drains backing up (part of that was the whole “needing to puke and the toilet was occupied” bit when I had food poisoning, mind you, but still… I had to blast the clogs twice with Drain-o power jets). So, I didn’t even thing about it, I poured a quarter of the bottle of Drain-o into the drain and left for work, figuring that the water (given there was so much of it) would rinse everything okay.

Well, I came home around 8:00 and when I went into the bathroom, the water level doesn’t appear to have changed. I was aggravated at this point (Drain-o usually works, after all), so I decide to go at it the old fashioned way and I go find myself a rubber glove.

Well, I reached into the Drain-o/Water mixture, grab the top of the drain plug, and push down. Much to my surprise, the drain popped back up and the water drained without an issue. It seems, despite the fact that I never use the drain stopper, it somehow got pushed in and, as a result, it wouldn’t le the water drain. So now I wasted a quarter bottle of Drain-o on a totally fine drain.

At least now the drain plug is shiny…

  

Left Behind in Heaven…

Everyone, I’m sure, knows that not so terribly long ago, (Tuesday, in fact) the date was 06/06/06. With that, all sorts of harbingers of doom awaited, including a remake of the horror film “The Omen” in which some demon-child is apparently Satan incarnate, and the (supposed) final book in the Left Behind series.

Well, in thinking about the Left Behind book, I was always amused by a thought as each of the new books came out, and it seemed no more fitting on Tuesday to be thinking about it. I’ve always had this image in my head of, what if the Rapture happened before Lahaye and Jenkins’ final book in the vaunted series came out?

I can just kind of see it now. Everyone’s standing around heaven, reveling in the glory of it all, and some poor fool, bless his heart, comes running up… (“Bless his heart” is the traditional Southern phrase for “What an idiot, by the way… =)

Bob: {Shouting} “JESUS! JESUS! Thank goodness I’ve found you!”

Jesus: “It’s good to see you too, my child.”

Bob: “Yeah, whatever, listen, you have to send me back.”

Jesus: “… excuse me?”

Bob: “You have to send me back to Earth, I’m not finished yet!”

Jesus: “My child, it’s the time of the harvest, when each will be judged by their fruits…”

Bob: “Yeah, sure, that sounds swell, but I need to find out how the last Left Behind books ends.”

Jesus: {Puzzled} “I beg your pardon?”

Bob: “Well, the last book was released today, of all days, and I was on my way to pick up my copy and read through it when you snatched us all up. I need to know how it ends.”

Jesus: {blinks} “You’re joking, right?”

Bob: “I’m joking? Lord, maybe you didn’t have time to read them but, those were really good books…”

Jesus: “Tell me we’re not having this conversation…”

Bob: “…and I have to know what happens to all of the characters in the end.”

Jesus :“Alright, that’s it. LaHaye! Jenkins! You made this mess, you’re going to clean it up!”

Jerry & Tim: “Yes Lord?”

Jesus: “You guys wrote the last book in that series you were doing, right?”

Tim: “Of course, Lord,”

Jesus: “Could you tell Bob how it ends?”

Tim: “The prequels or the FINAL series?”

Bob: “You were coming out with a Final series, too?”

Jesus: “Oh no…”

Jerry: “Oh yeah, we hadn’t been able to announce it yet, we were going to after the sales for the last prequel died down to generate interest again.”

Bob: “Well, it’s settled, Lord, send us all back and let them finish, and once the last of the FINAL book is out, then you can pick us up.”

Jesus: “I… You…”

Bob: “Come on, we haven’t got all eternity.”

Jesus: “I just took you to Heaven in the twinkling of an eye, and all you care about are their stupid books?!”

Tim: “Hey now, Lord, we put a lot of work into those.”

Jesus: {Aggravated} “You two are dismissed.”

Bob: “Come on, Jesus, pleeeeease?”

Jesus: “We’ll discuss this later. Go polish the streets of gold with this toothbrush.”

Bob: “But I…”

Jesus: “Not… another… word….”

Bob: “Yes lord…”

Okay, so I’m hoping if it had happened, no one would care about the Left Behind books anymore, and even if they did I’d hope Jesus doesn’t match up to my portrayal and would be a little kinder in his dealing with dear Bob. But the image all together just amused me.

(And my apologies to my Lord and Savior for the portrayal, I trust that He who invented humor will find some humor in it. =)

  

Testosterone and eBay don’t mix…

Wisdom of the ages, really. Well, at least wisdom of the week. How did I come to such a profound thought, you ask? It was long, deep reflection, really. A deep knowing that there is something wrong in the world, and I intended to find out what it was. Or it was the fact that I idiotically proved it to myself. Take your pick.

I’d been trolling eBay for a particular PlayStation game. A RARE PlayStation game, I should probably add. A game that’s really, really hard to get a hold of for under $50.

Okay, it was Final Fantasy VII. There, you happy? I just admitted I’d been looking for a copy of Final Fantasy VII, when historically I’ve hated Final Fantasy games because I thought they were too freaking confusing. Oddly enough VII was one that I remember being decent at after playing a demo and I wanted to play it to try and make some sense out of VIII (which I will admit, I’m doing better the second time around on then the first).

Well, I thought I had it made when I’d placed a maximum bid of $45 and discovered that it hadn’t gone up with 30 minutes left in the auction. And it was smooth sailing until five minutes before the auction was supposed to end. You see, at that moment, someone outbid me.

I had been eating breakfast and came back to check on the auction, and someone by the name of PrincessPeg had outbid me by a dollar. Now, a normal human’s reaction to this would be, “Darn, guess I’ll have to try again on another auction.” A normal human would have just walked away, not done anything stupid, and wouldn’t have been too proud to lose said auction to a girl.

I came to the conclusion that I’m not a normal human today.

I was absolutely livid. “Just who does this Peg person think she is?!” I asked myself. “That’s MY PlayStation game and she’s trying to take it from ME?! How DARE she!!!” I then promptly upped my maximum bid to $55.00, which is still well within the vein of reason. And sure enough, I topped her maximum bid of $46.00. “HA! That’ll show her,” I thought smugly.

I refreshed the page a minute later.

YOU HAVE BEEN OUTBID ON THIS ITEM

This was my second chance to act like a rational, sane person and just walk away. But at this point, the testosterone had taken complete control of me, and I would not be denied.

“Why that little…” You know, it’s probably best I don’t tell you what I thought of Peg at this point, because when the ego takes over, I’m definitely not the man Jesus would want me to be. I upped my maximum bid. Not high enough. Added a dollar. Her bid came in at less than a dollar more. I clicked away at the keyboard and typed in another figure. I was ahead again. I refreshed. Peg took the lead again. I smacked in another number. I took it back. She smacked in one more number. Time is now down to a minute. I type out, in desperation, one final figure. I clicked “Bid” one final time, out of sheer desperation. I took the lead again by one dollar.

At this point, I will pretty much give you the play by play of what I was thinking during those last 60 seconds of the auction.

0:58 – “HA! And the day is mine!”

0:46 – “Wow, that’s a little more than I was planning on spending.

0:30 – “ANDREW! Are you insane!? You want that game, you don’t want it THAT badly!”

0:26 – “Come on, Peg, outbid me, I’m begging you…”

0:14 – “Dear lord, thank you for this day… I pray that you will give Peg the clarity to know that I’m only a dollar above the present bid and that she’ll come and win the item from me…”

0:05 – “Oh crap, Peg’s not going to outbid me…”

0:00 – “Peg didn’t outbid me… Why did I just do that?”

You see, now I’ve been faced with a problem. I won the auction, which made me absolutely happy for about a whopping ten seconds. However, in those last five minutes of the auction, the price skyrocketed from the $45.00 limit I had originally set, to $81.00 after the bidding war.

Gentlemen, let this be a lesson to you. When you’re bidding on eBay, leave your testosterone at the door. And don’t be afraid to lose to a girl, especially if you know she’s willing to go to $80.00 for a game you’re only willing to pay $45.00 for…