News around the world…
And now, a brief update from the news desk…
Corpse found dead after motorcycle accident. This may not sound weird, but the corpse was actually a passenger on the bike and had been dead for six hours before said motorcycle crash. The driver of the bike fled on foot. The corpse was wisely wearing his helmet, but he was already dead so it didn’t really matter…
Donald Trump earns $25,000 a minute to talk. His advice? “Get the best people and don’t trust them,” he said. “Work with them, but they have to have respect for you.” Sorry, Mr. Trump, but it’s hard to know if someone’s the best without trusting them, and I don’t think “respect” and “fear” are quite the same thing. I’ve seen how people around you cower about possibly hearing the words “You’re fired”, I wouldn’t exactly call that “respect”… :P
Justin Timberlake defends Britney’s honor over baby pictures that were released over the internet. First off, Justin, after that whole “Cry me a river” song, what’s with jumping to your former woman’s aid? And secondly, oh joy, Britney’s baby’s been photographed. I cannot possibly contain my excitement. Could someone hand me a barf bag?
Chairman Mao does weddings. No word yet on if he’s available for company Christmas parties or Bar Mitzvahs.
Bush named Greenspan’s replacement. I’m not sure what suprises me more, the fact that I didn’t know greenspan was retiring or that I didn’t know Greenspan was still alive. Apparently, he’s not yet dead.