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So little to do, so much time…

This is brief, but there will be a longer follow up later… Today, I had a day off. I don’t get many of those lately, I’ve had two in the last two weeks, one of which I was sick for, the other I was busy all day so it didn’t feel like a day off. Today, I had the day off, no other obligations, and I set out to get a haircut and get my oil changed. But, as it happened, my hair stylist also had the day off, and I never left the house. So what did I actually acomplish today?

I watched 8 straight hours worth of Law and Order SVU on DVD.

Man, I need a life…

  

The Birthday Blog…

Well, I promised a big birthday blog, but then I managed to accidentally log out of my blog, and then I couldn’t remember my password. Once I figured out I didn’t know my password, I began to wonder if I forgot to change it from the default (which I didn’t remember), and after trying at it for the better part of the last 12 hours, I finally got it… It was the first password I typed, only captitalized at the beginning. Go figure.

Today, as most of you should know, is my 22nd birthday. This is an unusual age, because it’s really the last milestone birthday until you get to retirement age (by milestone, I mean birthday in which you get some new privillage. 15 was permit, 16 was license, 17 was R-rated movies, 18 was lottery tickets, cigarettes, and selective service (if you’re male), 21 was alcohol. After that, you really don’t get anything until you hit social security age). It’s also been almost exactly 4 years since I graduated high school, and that relization has made me think a lot about my life thus far.

4 years ago, when I graduated, I had a pretty good idea on what I was doing and where I would be by now. I was going to be majoring in journalism, by now, probably graduating from University of Oregon’s journalism program. By this point, not married (I know it’ll be another two years at least before I’m ready for that), but I’d have found my soulmate and would be pursuing a relationship with her intent on marriage a couple of years down the line. Probably have a promising number of job offers lined up with various newspapers or magazines. I might even be working on a future bestselling novel by now!

Well, as it happens, the only part of that that’s really gone as planned is the novel, which is nowhere near completion, but as a few lucky people can vouch, is underway. I got sick of journalism, as it turns out, the whole lot of journalists are egotistical crackpots with fruit loops for brains. I am nowhere near completing school, mostly on account of me not having half a clue what I want to do now that I’m free of journalism. My soulmate hasn’t turned up yet, as it happens it’s not as simple as someone walking up to you and saying “Hey, want to be soulmates?” And as far as job offers go, I’m happily locked in as a assistant manager for a small christian retailer for the time being. It’s all I need for the time being, although I eventually expect to move up or move on. That won’t be for a few years, at least.

It’s absolutely bizzare how things never work out quite as we expect them to. Having planned so much to accomplish over the last 4 years, then not really accomplishing a whole lot of it, it’s kind of disheartening when you think about it. Those four years aren’t time I’m going to get back, and if I just squandered them, well… Tough, they’re like car keys dropped in a lava flow. They’re gone, man. They’re gone.

At the same time, though, I’ve got plenty to be proud of. I’m the only manager in the company right now who’s opened two stores. I am working on the novel, which isn’t getting done as quickly as I’d like, but it is getting done, and so far the general consensus is it’s not too bad. And while yes, I’m still on a search for the one, I’m hopeful & I trust that God’s going to hand her over to me one of these days.

All in all, I really have nothing to complain about after 22 years. Another three years, and I’ll be a quarter-century old, as someone pointed out. Scary, when you think about it. Scary because of how much time’s passed, yes, but also a little scary as to how much time I theoretically have left… 22 down, 53 to go…

Happy birthday to me, happy birtday to me…

Done exactly 5 minutes before the end of the day here in Oregon…

~Andrew =)

  

Nothing just now…

…but expect a big birthday blog tomorrow. :-p

  

Interesting…

After working 16 hours today, as I sit here, I just noticed that if you abreviate my site’s name, it becomes “A.R.R.”, or “Arr”… The WCHS Pirate legacy lives on, no matter how hard I try to kill it…

  
Mood: Exhausted   Music: "Days go By" by Dirty Vegas

Dear lord…

After having to wait for the dryer to finish with my whites, I’ve had the song “Animals Don’t Wear Underpants” from Bobby’s World stuck in my head all morning. Yes, I’m just that weird…

  
Mood: Excitable   Music: "Animals Don't Wear Underpants" by Bobby

*Cue the Imperial march*

A new Pope has been selected. I don’t know why, but he reminds me of Emperor Palpatine from Star Wars. To quote Luke Skywalker, “I’ve got a baaaad feeling about this…”

  

The sad state of the world & the People’s Court…

As I was getting ready for work this morning, I had a nice dialogue as to whether or not going to work was the best idea. After debating it for a good five, maybe ten minutes, my bathroom sink convinced me that maybe going to work today was, indeed, a bad idea, as I emptied the contents of my stomach. Oh yay, I’m sick.

Well, like any person who’s sick, my day has consisted mostly of sprite and daytime television, which is always a little lacking for entertainment value. It’s either a soap opera, hollywood gossip show, or court TV. Out of sheer boredom, I wound up watching two consecutive court TV shows, Judge Hatchett and the People’s Court. If this is a commentary on the social state of the world, God save us, we’re all going to hell in a handbasket.

The case I came in on Judge Hatchett was a man getting a paternity test to find out if his former girlfriend’s 11 year old son was his or not. It all started with a 22 year old man and a 16 year old girl who wound up drunk one night and sleeping together. Before long, they’re in a relationship, then he ends up in prison. While he’s in prison for 25 days, she goes off and has relations with at least two other men (and one of them she had a bet with as to who could have sex for longer… Yeah, good things ALWAYS come from things like that…), then she winds up pregnant. At first, he thinks that it’s his child, which she adimantly denies for five years, and some other guy ends up paying child support. Then, after five years (for some inexplicable reason, potential father number one didn’t get a paternity test until the kid is five years old), the father gets tested and is found to not be the father. This cuts off child support, so now suddently this is the first guy’s child again. Somewhere along the line she remarries, he goes back to prison, he gets out of prison, and then they have an affair and she leaves her husband for him, only to have things wind up broken up. And let’s not forget the part where she threw gasoline on him for some random reason and threatened to light him on fire. How it took another 6 years to get to the point that this guy got tested, I have no idea, but the woman is positive this has to be her baby’s daddy, and then the tests come out…. He is NOT the father. With any luck, the woman won’t have it quite as bad as the woman who’s been on Maurry Povich 8 times for 10 praternity tests to figure out who the fathers of her three little girls are… So far, she’s only found one of the three fathers…

After Judge Hatchett was over, the People’s Court comes on. First thrilling courtroom drama of the day: A woman with an accent like Natasha Fatale is suing a woman who purchased a box of beanie babies at a garage sale and then stopped payment on the check. Apparently the woman, who started out claiming she was buying the beanie babies for her granddaughter and that she was a novice to the collecting of them, was upset because there were supposedly 3 valuable beanie babies in the box that she had wanted to pick up for cheap, only when she paid for the box of beanie babies, she took them home and discovered that three (out of almost 40) she thought she was getting weren’t there. As the trial progressed, you began to realize more and more that the beanie babies weren’t for her granddaughter, but for her… And how many relative novices to beanie baby collecting can tell you the price of a mint condition princess di, I wonder…

It’s no wonder why people laugh at our criminal justice system. Granted, I’ve heard some great stories about foriegn justice as well (the burgular from Britain who fell through a skylight, landed on a kitchen knife, and sued the owners and won, for instance), but American television keeps giving us all of these petty or otherwise stupid cases to broadcast all across the nation. Then there’s the big trials, like O.J. Simpson (who, everyone knows did it) or Michael Jackson (who needs to be locked away with some 400 pound black man named bubba, in my opinion). And as Americans, way too many people eat this stuff up. I mean, seriously! Look at the Michael Jackson case, have you seen how many people are standing around outside waving “free Michael” signs? Do these people not have jobs? Do they have ultra-lenient bosses with whom “I need to go support Michael at court today” is a valid excuse for not showing up for work? What is it our nation come to?

I think this is why I stopped watching television, save for 24 and Law & Order. At least with Law and Order, the cases seem real and the actual bad guys get locked away…

  
Mood: Irritated

Andrew’s song of the morning…

I’ve had the same part of “Paperthin Hymn” stuck in my head all morning… Basically since I woke up at 5:00… Still can’t put my finger on why…

I thought you said forever
over and over
this sleepless night becomes bitter oblivion
these thoughts run through my head
over and over
complaints of violins become my only friends…

It pretty much described how I was this morning. My mind wouldn’t shut off, couldn’t stop thinking, and it was like I was tossing and turning. But I can’t figure out what my mind was racing over, it just… was. Weird.

  
Mood: Bewildered   Music: "Paperthin Hymn" by Anberlin

The question of forgiveness…

In my own life, it’s happened quite a few times. Someone, in some way, has hurt me. I don’t think it’s possible for someone to go all through life without ever once hurting somebody. I can’t even say for sure that I’ve never hurt anybody, but I know I have the capability there. It’s a part of human nature, and not something we should be proud to have in our nature.

What should set us apart is how we respond to the breach of trust. We could, if we so desire, clam up. Make sure we don’t let anyone else in ever again, and we won’t get hurt, right? The only problem lies in that if we don’t let anyone in, then we’ll wind up leading a solitary existance. And if you go through life alone, chances are you’ll go nuts.

We COULD just forgive, but dwell on the past. We forgive the person who hurt us, but then when it behooves us, bust out the “look what you did to me back then!” on them. You’ll keep your friends temporarily, at least, but eventually, your dwelling on the past will get old, and you may have to find a new friend. This, as with clamming up, could lead to a lonely, lonely existance.

Or, perhaps we might consider doing what Jesus said in Luke 17:3-4.

Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.

Now, this doctrine doesn’t make a lot of sense to a lot of people. I mean, forgive your brother for breaking your trust, if he does it 7 times a day, you have to forgive him 7 times a day? Where’s the sense in that? If he broke your trust 7 times, by time number 7 you’re practically expecting it, why keep forgiving him?

I think something a lot of people miss in that verse is the process of forgiveness. We don’t turn around the very second that they betray us and say “All is forgiven”. We’re supposed to rebuke them first, then, if they repent, you forgive them. You have to smack them upside the head and say “look, you’re acting stupid, shape up” before you can forgive them for acting stupid. This is something I don’t think I really realized when I was younger.

Take, for instance, the girl who tried telling me she’d broken up with her boyfriend to get me to date her. Thankfully, I was enough of a gentleman to think that if she had just broken up with him I didn’t want to rush things, because as I later found out, they’d never broken up, and she wound up getting sick of waiting for me so she found another guy to use as a tool of her revenge. As it turned out, the boyfriend was cheating on her, so she decided cheating on him was the best way to get back at him. Now, that stung like nothing else, finding out that I’d almost gotten played for a fool, that someone would’ve tried using my feelings for them to their own personal advantage, but I never confronted her about it. She went on to do many stupid things after that, and I wonder if I’d rebuked her for it, would things have wound up any different?

The strange thing is, even though I never confronted her to see if she was sorry for what she almost did, I still forgave her. She was still a good friend, despite her lying to me in an attempt to manipulate me, and I wasn’t ging to throw away the friendship over something that, ultimately, was petty (it was high school, after all). I still cared about her as a friend. Just because she’d betrayed my trust didn’t mean I’d stopped caring about her, it killed me to watch some of the crap she went through and mistakes she made. When her boyfriend was staying with my roommate and I and got borderline abusive, I told him to stop. He responded with the words “Make me”, at which something in me just snapped, and before you know it I was half a step away from beating the living daylights out of a guy twice my size (to my surprise, the combination enraged look, snarling “You want me to make you?” and the 34 ounce louisville slugger I had apparently caught him off guard. He was well behaved the rest of the night). And this for someone who’d betrayed my trust one time in the past.

I believe it was John Maxwell who compared trust to having change in your pocket. Every time you earn someone’s trust, you add change to your pockets. Every time you lose their trust, you pay out a little change. If you’re constantly losing people’s trust, eventually you’re going to come up empty and you won’t have anyone who trusts you. I don’t think that we should completely write someone off as being untrustworthy because they made one mistake, the fact is, we’re human. We’ll make mistakes eventually because we aren’t perfect. But if we’re going to make mistakes, we need to be up front about it. With Adam and Eve, they tried covering their mistakes insteadof repenting of them, and look where that got them!

I guess this is a twofold thought for both the people who make mistakes, and the people who’re bound to forgive them for it. If you’re going to make mistakes, don’t try to hide them from those you care about, even if you’re afraid of hurting them. And if you’re the forgiver, and someone comes to you and apologizes for a mistake they made, forgive them. And I really mean, forgive them. Don’t lock it away for blackmail material later, don’t dwell on that one time so and so did something to you, just forgive them and move on with life. Grudges will only make things worse.

  

News recap…

A brief look at the news around the world.

China won’t apologize to Japan for its people throwing protests over Japanese textbooks glossing over Japan’s wartime attrocities in world war II. As if China’s a country to protest over attrocities. Japan’s been glossing over their wartime attrocities for years now, China may as well let it go. From how I understood it, some Japanese textbooks say we unjustly attacked them (as if Pearl Harbor never happened). Move on, China, move on…

The mormons meet the enviromentalists in what’s apparently been a 7 year argument over whether or not they should build a church in the mountains. Truly, this is a clash of the titans. No, really, I mean it…

And for today’s “Smooth Move Ex-Lax” award, Police officer shot and killed with his own gun. My condolences go out to the family, but I honestly wonder what kind of police department sends an officer in to do an interrogation with a stabbing suspect, who, sheerly due to the nature of his alleged crime, is violent and possibly nuts, where the suspect isn’t handcuffed (first mistake) and the officer has his weapon with him (second mistake). If you want to threaten the suspect with a gun during interrogation, fine, keep him handcuffed. If not, put the gun in a lockbox outside the interrogation room. It’s almost worse than the gunman holding up a firearms shop

That’s it from the newsdesk today…