Star Wars Spoiler Generator

Based on this XKCD Comic. Refresh the page to get a new version!

In this Star Wars movie, our heroes return to take on the first order and new villain, Kyle Ren, with help from their new friend, Ti-83. Rey builds a new lightsaber with a Taupe blade, and they head out to confront the first order's new superweapon, the Superconducting Supercollider, a space station capable of Blowing up a bunch of planets with one beam of energy that splits into many. They unexpected join forces with their old enemy, Youtube Commenters, and destroy the superweapon in a battle featuring X-Wings and tie fighters dodging the giant letters of the opening crawl.

P.S.: Rey's parents are Obi-Wan and That one droid Jawa Sandcrawler that says Gonk

Get the source code here.